No thanks, I'm allergic.

After 23 and a half years of saying "no thanks, I don't want any of that," or "I don't like (fill in the blank)," I realize I have been wasting my time. Saying these things regarding foods I don't want to eat only launches myself into this argument of "Oh, you HAVE to at least TRY it!" "What is wrong with you?" "Gosh, you are SO PICKY!"

Instead, since I really just want to be left alone to eat what I KNOW is good, I have decided on a new strategy. "I'm allergic."

Two simple words that could have saved me from 23 and a half years of picking at crappy food. "I'm allergic." Two magic words that suddenly makes it okay for me to NOT eat something, and could even have someone consider making me something different altogether.

It may be the best and brightest idea I've ever come up with. (Remind me to make a top 30 list of my best and brightest ideas... suggestions are also welcome)

So for your reading pleasure until women's basketball season ends and I get more free time, here is a list of things I have suddenly become allergic to.

- raw fish
- your weird looking Christmas cookies
- raw egg, or semi-raw egg
- cooked spinach
- chunks of crunchy items in pasta sauces
- mushrooms
- Bean casseroles
- Every casserole (minus Tuna Noodle, but only if the aforementioned mushrooms from the "Cream of Mushroom" soup have been picked out.
- Casseroles include hotdishes
- Salmon bones
- whatever that is you're trying to make me try.
- Anything that looks like it should still be alive
- Coffee
- EVERY one of mom's new recipes (which she's "just dying to try")
- Chili
- Salsa
- White sauce
- Fruit on a pizza
- Beans in a taco
- The new blue flavors in Runts (they've really ruined runts now, I miss the limes)
- Banana Splits
- Root Beer Floats
- Tootsie Rolls
- Most candy thrown from parade floats
- Non-American cuisine (notwithstanding B.Loco/Chipotle burritos, and chicken fried rice)
- Whatever mom made that when I came home as a kid, I would walk in the door, breathe, do an about-face, and walk out
- Century-old Pumpkin Pie recipes
- Pies which aren't Pumpkin
- Spicy chicken wings
- Summer sausage
- Any sausage that has crunchy items in it, or green seasoning pieces
- Sweet pickles
- Spicy Pickles
- Kiwi
- The thing that gave my second grade lunch supervisor a reason not to let me out to recess for not finishing... until I finally stuck enough of it to the bottom of the table. If it sticks to the bottom of a lunch table, don't try to feed it to me.
- Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
- Rubarb
- Squash
- Zucchini (especially when mom tries to hide it in cake
- Any non-white, marble, or chocolate cake.
- Donuts with filling
- Sixty percent of whatever finds its way to the table for Thanksgiving Dinner
- Insert whatever you're about to try to feed me, here.

And I'm off to bed. Sorry for making an incomplete list. Feel free to comment with things you know I've missed.