the lonely attendant

I have A.D.D., and it just cost me dearly. As I was writing out day four's note, I noticed a status I wanted to comment on, and clicked on the person. I quickly realized what I had done, but it was too late, all of my work was gone. So hopefully I can recreate it for you.

Today, unfortunately for you, was actually somewhat normal. I accomplished plenty today, including half of a crossword puzzle, and I figured out the answer to the question that has been plaguing me since I first arrived at this campus: Why is cafeteria food, prepared by professional cooks, SO BAD?! My friends and/or enemies and/or acquaintances, allow me to explain.

Unlike what you may assume, these people aren't necessarily the flunkies of the Le Cordon Blu college you see commercials for on television. But like each of us, these people have strengths and weaknesses. They may be good at cooking one type of food, but struggle with another. Beyond this, they are working with a tight budget and mass-producing for people who have already paid for a year's worth of food, so they just don't care.

Today, one of the servers used the phrase "suck it up" to me. Allow me to back-track.

I was browsing through each line, looking for something to eat when one of the "professional" (quotations because her behavior was less than professional) service ladies from behind one of the displays asked me bluntly what I wanted. I asked, "Does buffalo chicken mean it's spicy?"

She said, "yes."

"Oh, ok... thank you." And I moved to the next station.

She actually followed me. "You're going to let that stop you from having some?"

I looked down at my tray, already fairly full with ham, scalloped potatoes, Pizza, buns, two brownies and a ham sandwich, and replied, "Yeah sorry, I'm not a big fan of spicy food."

"Oh, suck it up," she said with a disgusted look on her face. And with that, she waddled back over to her station. I considered asking what stops HER from having some of anything, but decided that a fat joke to a likely-underpaid, overworked food service provider would only add a little of her homemade backwash to my beverages for the rest of the semester.

In my evenings spent on campus recently, I've spent a lot of time down in this little space with a ping pong table and a pool table with a couple of fellow baseball players. I've learned a valuable lesson. I don't get any better or worse at pool based on how often I play. I'm always just mediocre.

There was a new attendant tonight however, and he gave me some enjoyment. We were clearly the only three people in the room, so the equipment was ours to use. But unlike the previous two night's attendants, this one felt the need to inform us EVERY half hour for about two and a half hours that our time on the table was up, and asked us if we would like to start a new half hour.

Maybe he was lonely and this was his only chance to talk to someone? I'm not sure. But regardless of the reason, he'd break from the South Park marathon he was watching to ask us this unbelievably stupid question. Augsburg, I just want you to know you're a really Special place...

Last item of real consequence: Molly Feuling sent me a picture of a cat via text, with the message "Just wanted to say hello..." This is the second time in about a month or so that I've received something like this from her, and for this reason, I believe she is mass texting this message, much like people would a Christmas card. If you have received a text of this nature from the said Ms. Feuling, please let me know. We may be entering a new era in texting.

Also, Brett Favre is retired. So is Michael Jordan. I expect both to make comebacks in the near future.

I'm sorry to disappoint, but I think that's all I've got for today, some days are just better than others I guess! I'm considering picking a certain topic for each day and using it as a theme. I have a few topics on my mind at the present moment, but I am not sure this is the best time to bring some of them up... so we'll see what happens.

From "Life's Little Instruction Book:" Ask someone you'd like to know better to list five people he or she would most like to meet. It will tell you a lot about them.

If that suggestion got you thinking, feel free to comment with YOUR top five :-)

Enjoy.

Drowning in a Puddle, among other things

First, thanks for all who commented on the last one, it was surprising, but nice to know people are reading.

You know you've really settled in when you feel comfortable enough to shower in your own apartment. I don't know what it is, but I really hate using other people's showers, so when I can use the one in the apartment, it is almost a message saying "I'm in my own home."

I made a conscious decision for that day to be today, but realized all my body wash was in the locker room, so sadly, I ended up cleaning myself over there. Someday soon though, I will mentally "move in."

Two classes today, yes I only made two of three. When the teachers pack in so much stupid in such a short amount of time, I feel I can't handle that last class. Favorite quote from Chemistry, the teacher speaks about radioactive atoms: "When so many protons get packed together, they can't stand it, and the substance becomes unstable. It's like Thanksgiving Dinner."

I was still shaking my head as I unwittingly entered a "Peace Now" rally, mistakenly thinking it was my micro-economics class. The professor began the discussion regarding the War in Iraq as a negative externality, saying since we went in for illegitimate purposes, we should pull out now.

My entire class erupted into discussion against the war, and I soon realized I was the only person who was conservative, not to mention moderate. Finally, after listening to about 10 minutes of one-sided conversation, I asked the teacher, "but isn't the 'illegitimate purpose for entering' a sunk cost, which shouldn't factor into the decision for pulling out now?"

I was rewarded with only a blank stare from the professor and glares from my "classmates". That's when I decided to shut up.

In place of my third class, I watched an episode of Monk, the one where he goes to the football game. I only tell you this, because it was then I realized that I really hate watching actors pretend to be athletes. Imagine the clumsiest, most uncoordinated person from high school... those from my school, I think we're all imagining the same person here... now think how they look as athletes... yes, that's what actors look like.

Pitching a live session with real hitters is always a great opportunity to see where you're at, and I'm proud to report, I didn't hit anyone. It went well enough, but I'm not going to really bore you with the details... if you really want to know about my pitching, lemme know and I'll grab you a schedule.

On my way home, I drowned in the little park in between my apartment and the athletic complex. Apparently, during the required transfer information session I attended, they didn't feel like telling anyone that when it gets warm, a lake forms under the snow. Next time I'll bring scuba gear.

My last event for the day was a required Time Management Seminar, which began 2 minutes late. Anyone else find that ironic?

Finally, hats off to Andrew Andersen from the baseball team, who beat me in ping pong tonight with crappy paddles and a higher-than regulation net, and thanks also for showing me where a table is so I can play now. Enjoy that win, it will be your last.

I didn't know how to end this last time, but I've found a good way for tonight and beyond. I have a book called "Life's Little Instruction Book." I'll give you one entry each night.

Tonight's advice: "Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully."

Enjoy.