the lonely attendant

I have A.D.D., and it just cost me dearly. As I was writing out day four's note, I noticed a status I wanted to comment on, and clicked on the person. I quickly realized what I had done, but it was too late, all of my work was gone. So hopefully I can recreate it for you.

Today, unfortunately for you, was actually somewhat normal. I accomplished plenty today, including half of a crossword puzzle, and I figured out the answer to the question that has been plaguing me since I first arrived at this campus: Why is cafeteria food, prepared by professional cooks, SO BAD?! My friends and/or enemies and/or acquaintances, allow me to explain.

Unlike what you may assume, these people aren't necessarily the flunkies of the Le Cordon Blu college you see commercials for on television. But like each of us, these people have strengths and weaknesses. They may be good at cooking one type of food, but struggle with another. Beyond this, they are working with a tight budget and mass-producing for people who have already paid for a year's worth of food, so they just don't care.

Today, one of the servers used the phrase "suck it up" to me. Allow me to back-track.

I was browsing through each line, looking for something to eat when one of the "professional" (quotations because her behavior was less than professional) service ladies from behind one of the displays asked me bluntly what I wanted. I asked, "Does buffalo chicken mean it's spicy?"

She said, "yes."

"Oh, ok... thank you." And I moved to the next station.

She actually followed me. "You're going to let that stop you from having some?"

I looked down at my tray, already fairly full with ham, scalloped potatoes, Pizza, buns, two brownies and a ham sandwich, and replied, "Yeah sorry, I'm not a big fan of spicy food."

"Oh, suck it up," she said with a disgusted look on her face. And with that, she waddled back over to her station. I considered asking what stops HER from having some of anything, but decided that a fat joke to a likely-underpaid, overworked food service provider would only add a little of her homemade backwash to my beverages for the rest of the semester.

In my evenings spent on campus recently, I've spent a lot of time down in this little space with a ping pong table and a pool table with a couple of fellow baseball players. I've learned a valuable lesson. I don't get any better or worse at pool based on how often I play. I'm always just mediocre.

There was a new attendant tonight however, and he gave me some enjoyment. We were clearly the only three people in the room, so the equipment was ours to use. But unlike the previous two night's attendants, this one felt the need to inform us EVERY half hour for about two and a half hours that our time on the table was up, and asked us if we would like to start a new half hour.

Maybe he was lonely and this was his only chance to talk to someone? I'm not sure. But regardless of the reason, he'd break from the South Park marathon he was watching to ask us this unbelievably stupid question. Augsburg, I just want you to know you're a really Special place...

Last item of real consequence: Molly Feuling sent me a picture of a cat via text, with the message "Just wanted to say hello..." This is the second time in about a month or so that I've received something like this from her, and for this reason, I believe she is mass texting this message, much like people would a Christmas card. If you have received a text of this nature from the said Ms. Feuling, please let me know. We may be entering a new era in texting.

Also, Brett Favre is retired. So is Michael Jordan. I expect both to make comebacks in the near future.

I'm sorry to disappoint, but I think that's all I've got for today, some days are just better than others I guess! I'm considering picking a certain topic for each day and using it as a theme. I have a few topics on my mind at the present moment, but I am not sure this is the best time to bring some of them up... so we'll see what happens.

From "Life's Little Instruction Book:" Ask someone you'd like to know better to list five people he or she would most like to meet. It will tell you a lot about them.

If that suggestion got you thinking, feel free to comment with YOUR top five :-)

Enjoy.