10: HE doesn't get caught over-rounding 2nd base in the playoffs.
9: HE won't throw home on a sac fly from 385 out in CF with speedy runners on 1st and 3rd.
8: HE looks like he's batted before.
7: HE can't be an excuse for Gardy to not start Span in '08.
6. HE can't be an excuse for Gardy to not start Young.
5: HE speaks English.
4: HE doesn't think he's God's gift to baseball.
3: When HE's hitting .229, it's an OFF year.
2. HE falls down swinging less.
2b: HE wasn't part of the failed Johan trade.
1: HE won't try to rock a 'fro anytime soon.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Vikings/Favre saga, the Ross and Rachel Edition
When I woke up to find reports of Brett Favre's plans to join the Vikings, it hit me: I've heard this before.
It's not what you think, I'm not talking about his hemming and hawing back-and-forth banter with retirement, which we've all seen... I mean I've SEEN this entire thing play out in front of me before, in its completion, at least three full times this year.
Excited, I went to fellow Friends enthusiast Lucas Peterson to share my theory, and when he agreed without too much explanation, I decided it was time to share it with you.
We have been watching the remake of the Ross and Rachel subplot of the popular television show, "Friends." Allow my next 4000 words or so to explain...
It's not what you think, I'm not talking about his hemming and hawing back-and-forth banter with retirement, which we've all seen... I mean I've SEEN this entire thing play out in front of me before, in its completion, at least three full times this year.
Excited, I went to fellow Friends enthusiast Lucas Peterson to share my theory, and when he agreed without too much explanation, I decided it was time to share it with you.
We have been watching the remake of the Ross and Rachel subplot of the popular television show, "Friends." Allow my next 4000 words or so to explain...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The Couch Potato
I've been sleeping on the futon each night for about a week now, and today I really never got off of it. Why didn’t I leave the couch today? Well, first of all, I've been physically active all week and I'm tired. Secondly, for the first time since early December, I finally have cable again, not to mention a TV larger than 13 inches.
That’s right, this weekend, we finally re-acquired my roommate’s TV from the girl who had been using it, and the best news: it fits perfectly within the hole in my entertainment center.
But this came at a cost.
That’s right, this weekend, we finally re-acquired my roommate’s TV from the girl who had been using it, and the best news: it fits perfectly within the hole in my entertainment center.
But this came at a cost.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Touch Screen
In the words of the legendary Britney Spears, (and her lip-syncing psycho male fans, as can be seen here... Oops, I did it again.
Halfway through my note tonight, I was distracted by a status seen in my "online friends," and didn't resist the urge to click over and add a sarcastic comment. Like last time, the note is now gone.
But my memory of the weekend is still fairly sharp, thank goodness.
I'll admit by the end of the week last week, I was burned out, and had stopped paying enough attention to life to notice and appreciate the interesting and potentially humorous everyday moments that without a doubt occur in everyone's lives.
So to relax and try to get that back, I headed over to the freshman dorms Friday night after practice. The baseball guys weren't up to much, but that was just what I was looking for... A place to just relax for a bit. Some of the freshmen didn't share my sentiment however.
Halfway through getting pounded in a game of Madden on PS3, I paused to watch one of the freshmen stand up and announce to the room, "I'm going to go ride the elevator!" and jog out. I honestly hope he found something better to do with his time than ride the elevator that night.
When I left about an hour later, the elevator was empty.
Saturday brought even more excitement, as my roommate announced we could go get the TV from THAT girl (who I now believe is holding my roommate's TV hostage). He said he had talked to her, and she said we could grab it anytime over the weekend, but as we sat in the living room for two hours while he called and called and called this woman, that was clearly not the case.
The only reason we gave up is because I had to go to help my sister pick out and set up HER new television.
So after creeping along 35W, more commonly known as the worst road in America, I arrived in time to watch her decide on a 37" flat panel television, and helped her load it to bring to her apartment.
Upon arrival, we carried the TV in and I plugged it in to find the screen had a setup window up with three options: English, French, Spanish. I'm not sure who chose the languages that got to be on screen, but I can't help but think all Canadian-speaking Canadians must be offended.
Anyway, I started digging in the box to find the remote and put the batteries in to get through the screen. Jean (my sister) meanwhile sat down a full 18 inches away from the screen and stared intently. To pass the time, I said "You know, if you want to get that started, it's a touch screen, just go ahead."
She seemed surprised. "Really??" And reached out and firmly pressed one finger into her brand new TV screen, where the "English" option was.
That single moment made the trip 100% worth it.
Props to Zach and Pat for throwing an amazing party that night. The house was packed with lots of people I knew and some I didn't know, and made for one of the most entertaining nights I've had in a long time.
Possibly my favorite moment of the party: I had met and chatted with Gophers soccer player Sara Clancy (if you read this Sara, sorry this story HAD to go in) prior to the party at a friend's apartment. Once we had arrived at the party, I for some reason found myself being introduced to fellow soccer player Kaitlyn Wagner (check spelling on that first name...)
When I heard the name, I recognized it, and told her I know who she was. Sara immediately jumped in with "He's not a creeper or anything, he just used to write for the Daily."
It's always nice to have someone there to tell people you aren't a creeper. And because of that kindness, I decided to befriend Ms. Clancy on facebook today.
The weekend included several little stories as well, but as promised, I only offer you what I think is the best. In the interest of any type of longevity of this blog, I'd like to ask those who still read what they would like to see in here, and how often they are interested in reading about it. Please feel free to respond honestly and/or bluntly, the purpose is for your own enjoyment, so help yourself out!
Life's Little Instruction Book says: "Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something."
I'm personally afraid of heights, elevators, spicy foods, foods that are not from America, snakes, deer flies, horse flies, June bugs and loaded weapons in my room, to name a few. What are you afraid of?
Enjoy.
Halfway through my note tonight, I was distracted by a status seen in my "online friends," and didn't resist the urge to click over and add a sarcastic comment. Like last time, the note is now gone.
But my memory of the weekend is still fairly sharp, thank goodness.
I'll admit by the end of the week last week, I was burned out, and had stopped paying enough attention to life to notice and appreciate the interesting and potentially humorous everyday moments that without a doubt occur in everyone's lives.
So to relax and try to get that back, I headed over to the freshman dorms Friday night after practice. The baseball guys weren't up to much, but that was just what I was looking for... A place to just relax for a bit. Some of the freshmen didn't share my sentiment however.
Halfway through getting pounded in a game of Madden on PS3, I paused to watch one of the freshmen stand up and announce to the room, "I'm going to go ride the elevator!" and jog out. I honestly hope he found something better to do with his time than ride the elevator that night.
When I left about an hour later, the elevator was empty.
Saturday brought even more excitement, as my roommate announced we could go get the TV from THAT girl (who I now believe is holding my roommate's TV hostage). He said he had talked to her, and she said we could grab it anytime over the weekend, but as we sat in the living room for two hours while he called and called and called this woman, that was clearly not the case.
The only reason we gave up is because I had to go to help my sister pick out and set up HER new television.
So after creeping along 35W, more commonly known as the worst road in America, I arrived in time to watch her decide on a 37" flat panel television, and helped her load it to bring to her apartment.
Upon arrival, we carried the TV in and I plugged it in to find the screen had a setup window up with three options: English, French, Spanish. I'm not sure who chose the languages that got to be on screen, but I can't help but think all Canadian-speaking Canadians must be offended.
Anyway, I started digging in the box to find the remote and put the batteries in to get through the screen. Jean (my sister) meanwhile sat down a full 18 inches away from the screen and stared intently. To pass the time, I said "You know, if you want to get that started, it's a touch screen, just go ahead."
She seemed surprised. "Really??" And reached out and firmly pressed one finger into her brand new TV screen, where the "English" option was.
That single moment made the trip 100% worth it.
Props to Zach and Pat for throwing an amazing party that night. The house was packed with lots of people I knew and some I didn't know, and made for one of the most entertaining nights I've had in a long time.
Possibly my favorite moment of the party: I had met and chatted with Gophers soccer player Sara Clancy (if you read this Sara, sorry this story HAD to go in) prior to the party at a friend's apartment. Once we had arrived at the party, I for some reason found myself being introduced to fellow soccer player Kaitlyn Wagner (check spelling on that first name...)
When I heard the name, I recognized it, and told her I know who she was. Sara immediately jumped in with "He's not a creeper or anything, he just used to write for the Daily."
It's always nice to have someone there to tell people you aren't a creeper. And because of that kindness, I decided to befriend Ms. Clancy on facebook today.
The weekend included several little stories as well, but as promised, I only offer you what I think is the best. In the interest of any type of longevity of this blog, I'd like to ask those who still read what they would like to see in here, and how often they are interested in reading about it. Please feel free to respond honestly and/or bluntly, the purpose is for your own enjoyment, so help yourself out!
Life's Little Instruction Book says: "Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something."
I'm personally afraid of heights, elevators, spicy foods, foods that are not from America, snakes, deer flies, horse flies, June bugs and loaded weapons in my room, to name a few. What are you afraid of?
Enjoy.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
the lonely attendant
I have A.D.D., and it just cost me dearly. As I was writing out day four's note, I noticed a status I wanted to comment on, and clicked on the person. I quickly realized what I had done, but it was too late, all of my work was gone. So hopefully I can recreate it for you.
Today, unfortunately for you, was actually somewhat normal. I accomplished plenty today, including half of a crossword puzzle, and I figured out the answer to the question that has been plaguing me since I first arrived at this campus: Why is cafeteria food, prepared by professional cooks, SO BAD?! My friends and/or enemies and/or acquaintances, allow me to explain.
Unlike what you may assume, these people aren't necessarily the flunkies of the Le Cordon Blu college you see commercials for on television. But like each of us, these people have strengths and weaknesses. They may be good at cooking one type of food, but struggle with another. Beyond this, they are working with a tight budget and mass-producing for people who have already paid for a year's worth of food, so they just don't care.
Today, one of the servers used the phrase "suck it up" to me. Allow me to back-track.
I was browsing through each line, looking for something to eat when one of the "professional" (quotations because her behavior was less than professional) service ladies from behind one of the displays asked me bluntly what I wanted. I asked, "Does buffalo chicken mean it's spicy?"
She said, "yes."
"Oh, ok... thank you." And I moved to the next station.
She actually followed me. "You're going to let that stop you from having some?"
I looked down at my tray, already fairly full with ham, scalloped potatoes, Pizza, buns, two brownies and a ham sandwich, and replied, "Yeah sorry, I'm not a big fan of spicy food."
"Oh, suck it up," she said with a disgusted look on her face. And with that, she waddled back over to her station. I considered asking what stops HER from having some of anything, but decided that a fat joke to a likely-underpaid, overworked food service provider would only add a little of her homemade backwash to my beverages for the rest of the semester.
In my evenings spent on campus recently, I've spent a lot of time down in this little space with a ping pong table and a pool table with a couple of fellow baseball players. I've learned a valuable lesson. I don't get any better or worse at pool based on how often I play. I'm always just mediocre.
There was a new attendant tonight however, and he gave me some enjoyment. We were clearly the only three people in the room, so the equipment was ours to use. But unlike the previous two night's attendants, this one felt the need to inform us EVERY half hour for about two and a half hours that our time on the table was up, and asked us if we would like to start a new half hour.
Maybe he was lonely and this was his only chance to talk to someone? I'm not sure. But regardless of the reason, he'd break from the South Park marathon he was watching to ask us this unbelievably stupid question. Augsburg, I just want you to know you're a really Special place...
Last item of real consequence: Molly Feuling sent me a picture of a cat via text, with the message "Just wanted to say hello..." This is the second time in about a month or so that I've received something like this from her, and for this reason, I believe she is mass texting this message, much like people would a Christmas card. If you have received a text of this nature from the said Ms. Feuling, please let me know. We may be entering a new era in texting.
Also, Brett Favre is retired. So is Michael Jordan. I expect both to make comebacks in the near future.
I'm sorry to disappoint, but I think that's all I've got for today, some days are just better than others I guess! I'm considering picking a certain topic for each day and using it as a theme. I have a few topics on my mind at the present moment, but I am not sure this is the best time to bring some of them up... so we'll see what happens.
From "Life's Little Instruction Book:" Ask someone you'd like to know better to list five people he or she would most like to meet. It will tell you a lot about them.
If that suggestion got you thinking, feel free to comment with YOUR top five :-)
Enjoy.
Today, unfortunately for you, was actually somewhat normal. I accomplished plenty today, including half of a crossword puzzle, and I figured out the answer to the question that has been plaguing me since I first arrived at this campus: Why is cafeteria food, prepared by professional cooks, SO BAD?! My friends and/or enemies and/or acquaintances, allow me to explain.
Unlike what you may assume, these people aren't necessarily the flunkies of the Le Cordon Blu college you see commercials for on television. But like each of us, these people have strengths and weaknesses. They may be good at cooking one type of food, but struggle with another. Beyond this, they are working with a tight budget and mass-producing for people who have already paid for a year's worth of food, so they just don't care.
Today, one of the servers used the phrase "suck it up" to me. Allow me to back-track.
I was browsing through each line, looking for something to eat when one of the "professional" (quotations because her behavior was less than professional) service ladies from behind one of the displays asked me bluntly what I wanted. I asked, "Does buffalo chicken mean it's spicy?"
She said, "yes."
"Oh, ok... thank you." And I moved to the next station.
She actually followed me. "You're going to let that stop you from having some?"
I looked down at my tray, already fairly full with ham, scalloped potatoes, Pizza, buns, two brownies and a ham sandwich, and replied, "Yeah sorry, I'm not a big fan of spicy food."
"Oh, suck it up," she said with a disgusted look on her face. And with that, she waddled back over to her station. I considered asking what stops HER from having some of anything, but decided that a fat joke to a likely-underpaid, overworked food service provider would only add a little of her homemade backwash to my beverages for the rest of the semester.
In my evenings spent on campus recently, I've spent a lot of time down in this little space with a ping pong table and a pool table with a couple of fellow baseball players. I've learned a valuable lesson. I don't get any better or worse at pool based on how often I play. I'm always just mediocre.
There was a new attendant tonight however, and he gave me some enjoyment. We were clearly the only three people in the room, so the equipment was ours to use. But unlike the previous two night's attendants, this one felt the need to inform us EVERY half hour for about two and a half hours that our time on the table was up, and asked us if we would like to start a new half hour.
Maybe he was lonely and this was his only chance to talk to someone? I'm not sure. But regardless of the reason, he'd break from the South Park marathon he was watching to ask us this unbelievably stupid question. Augsburg, I just want you to know you're a really Special place...
Last item of real consequence: Molly Feuling sent me a picture of a cat via text, with the message "Just wanted to say hello..." This is the second time in about a month or so that I've received something like this from her, and for this reason, I believe she is mass texting this message, much like people would a Christmas card. If you have received a text of this nature from the said Ms. Feuling, please let me know. We may be entering a new era in texting.
Also, Brett Favre is retired. So is Michael Jordan. I expect both to make comebacks in the near future.
I'm sorry to disappoint, but I think that's all I've got for today, some days are just better than others I guess! I'm considering picking a certain topic for each day and using it as a theme. I have a few topics on my mind at the present moment, but I am not sure this is the best time to bring some of them up... so we'll see what happens.
From "Life's Little Instruction Book:" Ask someone you'd like to know better to list five people he or she would most like to meet. It will tell you a lot about them.
If that suggestion got you thinking, feel free to comment with YOUR top five :-)
Enjoy.
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